we’ve got band-aids for our wounds here.
we’ve got a softer tight grip. we know how to survive when we are hated
and we know how to live. you only know how to take
and not to give. your hands are poison, but only you will drown in the river.

respect must be earned, it’s not default
when most of the world would like to see people like us
dead. so yeah, i’m not going to trust you, you need to prove it first.

and i’m not here to watch the fruit flies in your mouth
or smell the vinegar on your breath.

an extract from my poem “like talking to a wall.” which you can read in full here  [ mature content warning because i use the f-slur at one point, in the context of people saying it when they aren’t entitled to. if the use of that word triggers you please be careful / you don’t have to read the whole poem ] 

i have 3 second interludes where i think we’re in love.  i spend the other 23 hours, 59 minutes and 57 seconds knowing that’s implausible. knowing that love is too pretty a word for whatever this is.

SHRUG EMOJI BY PANSYDIV (me, on dA.) read the whole piece here!

rough untitled

a song by mars argo that i can’t stop listening to and it honestly calms me down in some surreal way like a sedative from outerspace like bubblegum basements like cottoncandy  boys like immortal kids in bathtubs thinking about ophelia like falling asleep in the backseat of your car or having a loudly purring cat on your lap or sneaking outside at 3AM to taste the stars on your tongue by staring at the sky like you owned the universe like breathing in sunsets like aphrodite was your girlfriend like car radios at 1AM like that boy’s jacket and the smell of blueberries and peppermint and citronella and the taste of her lipgloss and the serene peace and calm of being at the bottom of a swimming pool and never needing to come back up like cigarettes with pastel pink clouds of smoke and girls with loud minds and soft voices, gentle hands becoming weapons, neglect becoming a lullaby, grey is my favourite colour and the way his voice broke on the phone last night when he said “you know i love you”

Source: pansydiv